I know that engagement rings are important to women. If I loved a woman so much that I wanted to marry her, I naturally would be happy to buy one.
Here are the problems. First, the diamond has no intrinsic value other than that given to it by society. It is only a shiny rock. I understand why you’d want to do something romantic and I wouldn’t be looking to save money. How about spending the same amount of money on her but for something more practical and for the romantic part, expressing my feelings in some other way? For instance, how about a several thousand dollar annuity and a proposal in a romantic place with a love letter for good measure.
If those were my only reasons, I’d still buy the ring if it were important to her. Here’s the second and much more serious problem. A lot of those diamonds are harvested by the world’s worst people. For instance, there are factions in Sierra Leone fighting over control of the diamond mines. What they often do is come into a village and terrorize people. Let me be more specific. They take machetes and indiscriminately hack of hands and feet. Their victims include children. I saw a teenage girl who had grown up without hands. Speaking of marriage, who’s going to marry her? I simply do not want to subsidize such brutality.
Please state your age and relationship status.
NOTE TO <3 *:
There were several great responses but yours is my favorite. Yes, your answer made great sense and I’m impressed with your values. I was touched by your comment, “a thoughtful thing would be a vintage ring… that he thinks is pretty, one he has chosen — just to show I’m his. That’s all I want.” “Smartypants” is a lucky man.
I was under the impression that an engagement ring necessarily included a diamond. According to the responses, that is not the case; there are alternatives. Furthermore, if I were to buy a diamond ring, there are ways to trace the origin of the diamond. However, I once heard in a news report that the documentation methods are unreliable. Perhaps they’ve gotten better.
I usually accommodate those I love. However, there are some principles you don’t compromise. Refusing to encourage brutality is one of them. As long as I can do that, my fiancé can choose whatever type of jewelry she prefers – even a diamond, just not a conflict diamond.
As for the annuity idea, well, common sense dictates that I’m not going to take her out to a candlelit dinner and present her with a piece of paper! If I were to give her something of strictly practical value, it would be on a separate occasion. Business is business; romance is romance.
I definitely understand that the ring is a symbol of your relationship. And it’s a way to ward off rival suitors! So I’d buy one but does it have to be very expensive? Money is hard to come by. If you’ve ever needed it and not had it, you would understand why. My fiancé can have the money but does it have to be for something without intrinsic value?
As a footnote, some of those commenting did not understand what “intrinsic” meant. It means innate, inherent, inseparable from the thing itself, essential; comprising, being part of a whole. If the entire world is willing to pay a high price for a diamond, it still has no intrinsic value unless you’re planning to cut glass.
Thanks again.
